Tag Archives: relationships

discipleship, Finding Answers to Stuff Churches Don't Discuss, Uncategorized

Hooking Up With Wickedness

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We live in a world filled with people who are ignorant of God’s ways or the gift of salvation Jesus offers. Some know the truth but resist it. Without our influence through relationships, they’ll likely never know these truths. But we must not let influence work the other way around, allowing ourselves to be lured into sinful behavior.

First and foremost, we’re to spread the good news of God’s grace and mercy through Jesus to those around us by word and deed. As the apostle Paul pointed out, how will people learn of the Gospel—that great news of God’s Kingdom—if no one tells them? We’re all called to proclaim that good news through our speech and actions. How can we do this if we don’t interact with others who need to hear the message or see us model it (Romans 10:13-15)?

We’re also to be a shining example—a light to those around us. There’s no way to be that light without being visible to the world.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” —Matthew 5:14-16.

We can’t isolate ourselves and, therefore, shield our light from the world. We must be in the world to provide an example, but not of the world (repeating any of its ungodly values and behaviors). The apostle Paul explained that although we need to be flexible and enter into relationships to be Jesus to a lost world, we must be careful not to practice sin found in the world and give up the gift of salvation (1Corinthians 9:19-27).

Paul tells the same church that they must not have close relationships with unbelievers in other warnings too. Associate, yes—be bound together, no. The original language implies unequal yoking, which is vital to understanding Paul’s intent. Yoking together dissimilar creatures would be counterproductive and, while the act may help the weakest of the pair, may bring down the stronger (or more righteous in this case).

Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? —2Corinthians 6:14-15.

Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals. —1Corinthians 15:33.

Who are your friends and business partners? Remember to be a light to the world but take measures to avoid having your faith corrupted and, therefore, jeopardizing your rescuing from God’s wrath to come!

Next week: God is love. True, but how? Why?

Blessings and peace,

Ron Braley

discipleship, Finding Answers to Stuff Churches Don't Discuss, Uncategorized

Love Yourself, Love Your Neighbor

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Lately, I’ve been blabbing about loving yourself. So this week, we’ll go back to the Why and How?? so that you can love your ‘neighbor’ as you love yourself.

As we’ve learned, loving yourself positions you to love others. With healthy relationships (especially with God), finances, mind, emotions, and spirit, you’re armed to help others do the same. But, how does that look? We’ll learn that our love falls into similar categories as the spiritual formation I recently addressed. So, let’s frame my input like that.

Relationships. Our connections are vital! The Bible says much about interacting with others in a godly way to maintain and deepen those connections used to present God’s Kingdom to others. Here are several biblical tips for keeping those connections alive:

  • … be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger —James 1:19.
  • BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger —Ephesians 4:26.
  • … but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you. —Matthew 5:39-42.

Finances. You cannot help others financially without money! But, once you get your finances under control, you may have resources with which to help clothe, feed, or house others—things on which Jesus said He’ll judge us (Matthew 25:31-46).

Physical health. Jesus told us to ‘go.’ The ‘going’ is necessary to establish new relationships with which to be and make disciples (Matthew 28:18-20). Our healthy relationships also allow us to ‘go’ and help others.

Emotional and mental health. This area affects relationships. When we’re healthy emotionally and mentally, we’ll be positioned to mentor others, listen to them in their pain, aid in healing, etc.

Spiritual. Once healthy, we can be godly models of spiritual practices, including Bible study, prayer, accountability, and discipleship. That’s how others can grow spiritually; spiritual growth positively affects all others!

In summary, loving your neighbor can happen when we love ourselves. Being healthy relationally, spiritually, financially, etc., sets us up to aid others by being godly models, helping physically, ‘being there’ emotionally, and assisting in feeding, housing, and clothing the less fortunate. Here’s the good news: you can still love others even while you’re becoming healthy. Just do what you can, give to others as you can.

Next week’s topic will be Just Who Did Jesus Tick off, Anyway?? To support our passivity, we sometimes make Jesus passive. To support our angry, polarizing, and political rhetoric, we often make Jesus political. You’ll discover that the answer is somewhere in between, but always in God’s framework and mission, not ours.

Questions or comments? Email publisher@taylorpress.net.

Blessings and peace,

Pastor Ron Braley, Northview Christian Church

discipleship, Finding Answers to Stuff Churches Don't Discuss, Uncategorized

Love Yourself, Part III: How??

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Last week, we learned that being Christian carries the responsibility of remaining healthy in body, mind, spirit, etc., to the best of our ability in obedience to the Father and Son so that we can honor them and help bring the Kingdom of God to others. The good news is that the Bible gives us much of what we need to figure this out in two distinct areas: spiritual formation and spiritual disciplines.

Spiritual formation. Once we say, “I do!” in response to God’s call through Jesus, we’re to embark on a journey of transformation—in all areas of life, which is possible with the Spirit of God. Our change matures and forms several areas:

  • Relationships. If we remember that we’re to treat others with the love of Christ and consider them better than ourselves, our relationships will likely flourish (Philippians 2:3-4). Don’t go to bed angry (Ephesians 4:26) and be sure to ‘turn the other cheek’ to allow reconciliation (Luke 6:29). Finally, remember the ‘golden rule’ (Matthew 7:12).
  • Finances. The Bible has a LOT to say about sound money management. Be cautious about borrowing money and be content with what you have (Hebrews 3:5).
  • Physical health. Eat and drink (if applicable) in moderation. Get off the couch and put your body to work, even if just a bit at first. Remember that God desires to move you to action in His plans.
  • Intellect. Stimulate the brain by reading, studying something interesting, playing games, or assembling puzzles, etc. Say “No!” to the electronic stuff more often!
  • Emotional and mental health. Do what you can to keep your emotions and mind healthy by tending to the body, relationships, finances, and intellect. But, again, do what’s within your control.

Spiritual disciplines.

  • Prayer. It is our communications with (not just at!) God. Use Jesus’ model (Matthew 5:6-13) and Adore God, Confess sins, offer Thanksgiving, and Intercede for others (healing, finances, salvation, etc.).
  • Study. Engage God’s words in the Bible and meditate on them—it’s how we ‘put on Christ’ and become spiritually mature.
  • Accountability. We must bear each other’s burdens and confess sins, at least to one person we trust.
  • Giving (money, time, talents, etc.). The Bible demands it (e.g., Matthew 6:1-4 and 25:31-40; 2 Corinthians 9:6-7). Not only is it a necessary outcome of the Christian faith, but it can also help emotional health too. Giving stimulates the brain and makes us feel better physically and emotionally. It’s also a great way to take our eyes and minds off our troubles.

So, move toward emotional, physical, relational, financial, and spiritual health one baby step at a time in God’s direction as you love yourself. Next week? We’ll put self-love to work as we dive into how to love our ‘neighbor.’

Questions or comments? Email publisher@taylorpress.net.

Blessings and peace, Pastor Ron Braley, Northview Christian Church

discipleship, Finding Answers to Stuff Churches Don't Discuss, Uncategorized

The Incredibly Destructive Force of Negative Thought and Speech

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Like most people, I’ve experienced the destructive nature of negativity from a distance and engaged in negative chit-chat from time to time. However, I’d never fully witnessed its destructive effects on a lingering personal and painful basis until very recently when I became the victim of collateral damage. The destruction came, in this case, from emotional atomic bombs dropped by those significant to me, leaving a swath of destruction and damaged relationships in their paths. My prayer is that this brief blog will help the healing process while relieving a little frustration and (most importantly!) helping others cope or change their behavior if necessary.

Allowing ourselves to get sucked into negative slander and back-stabbing conversation can feel good for a moment while it creates an air of emotional bonding over common foes or hatreds; however, there’s nothing helpful and everything hurtful about the practice that begins with a negative thought. Here are some sobering tidbits about the effects of negative thought and speech:

  • Fact: Cancer and this type of thinking and behavior are linked, as are physical ailments and crippling illnesses.
  • Fact: Emotional and mental fallout from this self-generated thinking and behavior include anger, depression, paranoia, and unhappiness at the very least.
  • Fact: There’s probably no quicker way to destroy personal and family relationships than to react out of anger with hateful or slanderous speech after working oneself into a frenzy about things that are likely to be untrue or exaggerated. The tongue is indeed a destructive weapon! “So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire!
    And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell.“-James 3:5-6.
  • Fact: Negative speech and thought are likely symptoms of deeper emotional or spiritual issues. Jesus, after all, made this related comment: “But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and these defile the man. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders.” –Matthew 5:18-19.
  • Fact: Those aligned with God don’t practice negative, destructive speech. The alternative should be clear.
    • Slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful; and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same but also give hearty approval to those who practice them. —Romans 1:30-32.
    • But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth. —Colossians 3:8.

Regarding Confrontation. However, this isn’t to be confused with healthy, unassuming confrontation whereby issues and behavior can be addressed and resolved; forgiveness and healing are often the positive side-effects.

Where do we go from here? If you recognize these behaviors in yourself, then stop!! Begin substituting negative thoughts with positive ones, and getting clarification instead of making assumptions and harboring anger. Don’t engage in negative conversation. And, dwell on good and positive activities. On the other hand, if you already do those things and are, therefore, not a negative and slandering individual: Keep on keepin’ on!

Blessings,

Ron Braley

Finding Answers to Stuff Churches Don't Discuss

An Ounce of ‘cheek-turning’ Prevention is Worth a Pound of Relationship Cure!

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We understand the value of repenting and asking for forgiveness, often demanding it of someone who has offended us – sometimes retaliating by severing otherwise good or productive relationships if we don’t get the apology or response we think we deserve.

I experienced this recently when someone terminated our friendship and discipleship relationship because of a perceived wrongdoing. Such destruction over perceptions! I’m sad that my friend was hurt. And, I’m grieved by the loss of the relationship.

What can be done in cases like this once the damage has been done (besides asking for forgiveness as necessary)? Giving forgiveness (even privately) and moving forward despite any negative emotions.

Jesus taught us that we should ‘turn the other cheek‘. This goes along with biblical instruction to be ‘slow to anger‘ and is the one thing we can do to give reconciliation with other humans a chance.

“Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also . . .” (Luke 6:29)

He who is slow to anger has great understanding, But he who is quick-tempered exalts folly. (Proverbs 14:29)

This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger (James 1:19)

BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger (Ephesians 4:26)

For anyone who feels they’ve been wronged and the situation is unresolved: please consider turning the other cheek to give reconciliation with friends, family, coworkers, and others a chance.

Blessings.  Ron